Application and Acceptance

Something exiting happened for me.

I got into college.

I feel like its been thrown at me, like it was exciting but nerve wrecking...

It's like when you vomit, after you know you'll feel better but its the before and during that suck.

I want to attempt to explain this feeling....

There's a strong feeling of desperation right before you open that email. You know who the email is from and what it entails before you have the chance to even open it. It holds your fate.

You feel like its a surreal moment, how could a few words possibly affect the course of the rest of my life? That's ridiculous.

But it's a truth for many students around the world.

I read the first sentence and danced. I turned on Justin Bieber and had a dance party in my kitchen and then snap chatted my brother. I called my mom and dad. 

It was one of those joyous moments you don't want to keep to yourself, you want to share it with the world. I wish more things in life happened where joy was spread and shared by all...

My brother was probably the most exited out of anyone because the school I got into is only 20 minutes away from his college. And for some siblings that is something they would hate, but for me and Andrew we love it! It was originally the reason he applied to the school he is at right now, because last year I told him which school I was planning on attending in the future.

I'm so uncertain. I love the school I'll go to. I even have a future plan in place of what I'm going to do, but not quite yet which classes I'll be taking. I'm mostly worried over the idea that I will know no one, and will have to live with a complete stranger for the first time in my life.

I am incredibly lucky though to have my brother 20 minutes away and my best friend 40 minutes away, I will have a support system in place if I ever feel anxious or need a cozy, safe place.

One main thing that I'm dreading most, is the idea that I may be there for longer then I want. Ideally I'll take a semester of class, then apply to the credential program, and do a blended degree where I finish my degree while working on my credential. Therefore I will most likely be done with school in 1 1/2 - 2 years. But I know thats unrealistic and unlikely. 

A song that has been hitting home with me due to all these new life changes I've been going through is 7 years by Lukas Graham. It's such a soulful heartfelt song, that I think connects many people over many generations. It helps us all to reminisce and dream about the future.

I'm hopeful about my education, but I won't ever be 100% excited, more like 60% excited 40% nervous.

It's put my anxiety in hyper drive, waiting just below the surface, so any small thing can build up into something huge in just a manner of seconds. Which stinks, but I'm hoping that the feeling will pass.

So long until next time!

[and feel free to leave any similar experiences or suggestions down below!]

xoxo

RC